Justice Never Retires

‘I’m telling you,’ The Captain whistled from the doorway, ‘this is going to make our lives so much easier.’

Wonder Boy peered around his mentor’s bulging shoulders to peer into the bathroom.

‘Uh…’ he frowned. ‘How exactly?’

‘Just think, Boy Wonder!’ The Captain exclaimed. ‘After a hard day of battling the forces of darkness, we come back to the Command Centre and slip into a nice, warm bath to soothe our aching, crime-fighting joints.’


‘Separately, of course,’ The Captain agreed hurriedly.

‘I don’t get it – we already had a bath that worked fine,’ Wonder Boy said, slipping the mask off his face and massaging the skin it had been resting on. ‘Why did you have to modify an existing bathtub?’

‘For convenience, Boy!’ The Captain chortled, slapping his sidekick on the back so hard his lungs briefly collapsed. ‘Just think how much simpler it’ll be to get in and out with that section cut out!’

Wonder Boy sidled past The Captain to inspect the tub properly. Like the hero had said, it had had a piece taken out of the side, so that you didn’t have to raise your leg as high to get in.

‘Uh, Captain?’

‘Yes, Boy Wonder!’

‘It’s not…’ Wonder Boy closed his eyes and sighed. ‘Are you feeling okay, Captain?’

The Captain seemed genuinely puzzled by the question. ‘Feeling okay?’

‘Yeah, like… you’ve been doing this job a long time, haven’t you?’

‘Evil never retires,’ The Captain clenched his fist, glaring into the middle distance, ‘and neither shall I!’

‘Okay, right, but…’ Wonder Boy sighed again. ‘This is a bathtub modification for seniors.’


Wonder Boy gestured at the bathtub with a gloved hand.

‘This is something that… elderly people install into their bathrooms so they don’t accidentally injure themselves climbing into a bath.’

The Captain’s shoulders dropped a little. ‘What’s your point?’ he asked, the warbling bravado gone from his voice.