Magic Moth Earrings

Hattie “Mad Eyes” Palmer wasn’t exactly your everyday, run-of-the-mill pirate. No, she was a pirate with style. A pirate who wore a fake beard to pretend to be a man, and then wore it decorated with all sorts of fine gems to appear more feminine. That is why I chose her to eliminate and steal her identity. Now I am Hattie “Mad Eyes” Palmer, although without the sparkly beard. Instead, I have a couple of super fancy quality moth earrings. I thought that these moth earrings would help me fly or something, but it turns out that all they can do is make me float ten feet above the ground for an infinite amount of time. Nowhere near as useful as flight. Thanks a lot, DarkLord37.

Of course, levitation was super helpful for the Antarctic challenge the remaining five pirates faced. With Dagmar James eliminated for arriving too late, I only have four rivals to defeat before claiming the grand prize, whatever that ends up being. You know, now that I think about it, it seems as if a lot of Melbourne-based competitions have really vague prizes. Remember Australia’s Next Top Office? The contestants were playing for “charity”, but it was never clearly stated what charity actually was. I’m getting the same kind of feeling from this competition held by a dark figure that makes high-quality Melbourne made earrings.

Anyway, I got through our Antarctic challenge super easily. Parts of the ice rapidly fell away, as we pirates had to cross over a large tundric field. Glaciers opened up, nearly finishing some of the pirates for good. Obviously, I just levitated over the whole thing with my moth earrings. It was nice to come in first place for once. Hopefully, my earrings prove to be just as helpful for the next challenge.

I really wish that Kingswell would stop texting me. It’s getting really annoying. He says he has something “urgent” to discuss about this competition, but I think he’s just trying to distract me. I’ll be taking my head start and moving on to the next challenge, thanks.

– Hattie “Mad Eyes” Palmer II