Never thought I’d find it on the list. And yet, as I made my profile on Odd-Match and selected the drop-down box of interests, there it was: season alchemy. That is, the act of creating multiple different types of seasoning in an attempt to create the ultimate SEASONING.
We started to chat, and it became clear that we were all in the same boat: striving for this legendary seasoning, and yet it remained an unrealised dream.
It’s nice meeting kindred spirits. Usually I just stay in my apartment alone, brewing seasoning. The other week I had to look around for a drain repair company in Melbourne because I made a particularly complex mixture that included oregano, Portuguese chicken salt and a few liberal dashes of ground saffron. Of course I’m not going to reveal the FULL recipe, but it hardly matters, because the whole thing ended up as a claggy mess, not the glorious ULTIMATE-SEASONING that I so desire to create. As per usual I just dumped the mixture down the sink, but it must not have dissolved like all the rest because I found myself with an immediate blockage problem that could not be solved with a plunger.
So, drain clearing and cleaning folks came in, and I think they may have been the first people I’d seen in a week. I get so caught up in my work, you see.
Now I actually have people to talk to, which means my experimentation and alchemy projects have slowed, but I’m hoping the conversation makes them more efficient. And I can warn my new brothers and sisters: ground saffron and oregano? Not even once. You’ll have to call in the nearest company near Melbourne for drain unblocking and it’ll cost you precious time. Time better spent with…oh, let’s say dill, Cajun spice and a hint of mountain salt?