Underwater Revelry

I wonder if, once we all move under the waves, we’ll have special underwater parties? I mean parties that are exclusively for people who live underwater, so we can get together and celebrate our new lives, and also talk about underwater-exclusive problems. And no one from the land will be invited, because it’s exclusive.

Of course, therein lies the deeper issue, and it’s not just depth pressure: how do you make a glass dome into a party environment? Lights, maybe. I wonder if any of the marquee hire companies Melbourne is home to will corner the sub-oceanic market and move downwards. By doing that, they’d provide us with the perfect environment for our exclusive parties.

In a similar vein to how the page ‘turns’ on an e-reader, marquees will simply be a symbol of culture once we all live in underwater domes. We’ll have practically no variation in weather, except for when currents pick up and suddenly there’s a constellation of starfish whizzing past the living room window. No rain, no shine, just climate control all the time. You won’t even need to bring a coat with you when you make the move to a dome! That should definitely save space for all sorts of other things, like the identical blue jumpsuits we’ll all be wearing because when we’re underwater.

So yeah, the marquee will be mainly for effect, which is fine by me because some of them have those elegant clear walls and I just love the look. They used that sort of marquee for that ill-fated spin-off of The Great Australian Trade-Off, the one about baking in England. Ha! What a rip-off. A rip-off of the trade-off. But it was a lovely marquee, so sturdy and strong. Actually, I’ve seen plenty of this in Melbourne, wedding marquee hire being a common occurrence due to our inclement weather. 

Alright, that’s it. We’ll party under a marquee like it’s 2002 and we still live on the land.