Anti-Reptile Glass

The main problem with crocodiles is how fast they can be on land. First you’re all like, “Oh, they’re just crocodiles, slow things that they are, ho-ho!”

And then… bam, they get ya. Only tiny little legs, but they move faster than that one time when you saw a spider over the door and you thought you’d make a run for it and you felt something land on your neck as you dived in. And spiders are way faster than they have any right to be. I mean, I know they have more legs, but they’re still comparatively tiny, so it’s just not fair.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, crocodiles. Not super fast, but faster than you think.

If I lived near water, I think I’d have to commission a glass house. Like, glass everything, despite it not being the done thing in Melbourne. Glass balustrades would be especially featured, because they’re quite delicate and pretty and a wonderful addition to any home, but everything else would be glass. I might consider frosting for the bathroom, but while that would offer a degree of privacy, it would sacrifice the ability to see crocodiles coming when you’re at your most vulnerable, so maybe that’s an overall bad idea. Just the balustrades then, and the rest of the walls can be your garden variety glass.

Well, not garden variety…it’d have to be reinforced, to keep away the crocodiles, and maybe other, similar fresh and saltwater reptiles. It would entirely depend on the home, and where you chose to build this legendary glass house. It would be legendary, of course. People would come from far and wide to see how you’ve managed to create something so elegant, and yet so resistant to crocodiles. You could probably rake in some money from tourism, and then use that money to buy your very own Melbourne glazing company, after which you’ll be able to make glass houses for everyone. Then you’ll have an entire city of folks in their reinforced glass homes with lovely glass balustrades, laughing at the crocodiles as they make their futile attempts to enter.